MIDWEEK POETRY. Nothing.

THANK YOU

I would like to thank my followers for July, it has been a milestone month for me. I’ve reached 1000 likes since starting blogging, have over 100 followers, it has been my most viewed month, 1200, best day and best week. Okay, so it’s numbers but I see it as reaching a wide audience and having my work viewed by people I would never have met away from the computer. Instead I am interacting with them, dropping into their lives by viewing, commenting and liking their blogs. Who said the internet was a bad thing?

NOTHING

beach

You lay silent beneath the sand.

No one knows where,

only the crabs that burrow

amongst your resting place.

The seagulls that squawk and cry

above you,

fighting over scraps of decaying fish

know nothing of the

pain

horror

and

indignity

you endured.

Howling winds blow tiny grains

of sand through the dunes

keeping you covered.

Conspiring,

like those who put you there

to keep you hidden.

So their sins

would not be laid bare

like the bones of the whale

cast farther up the beach.

One day you will be found,

they will wonder why.

They will never know your name,

I do.

Some will ask what did a

child

do to deserve

such an end and no one will be there to say,

Nothing.

What sin did she commit that this vile thing

should be done to her.

No one will be there to say,

Nothing.

Just know this.

I know and if I am asked

I will say,

you did

Nothing.

When they ask me,

What did you do?

I will hang my head in shame

and say,

I did

Nothing.

100_0003

Laurie Smith. copyright 2013.

There are some things that can never be written about in their entirety, for they will stain the writer and the memory and most wont believe it. These things can only be alluded to, in prose or verse, or by making them a character in a book. Then letting the world know about their pain and suffering without standing and saying, “He did it.” I’ve tried that, a witness statement from 50 years ago doesn’t seem to make much impact. The years themselves have conspired to remove the offenders, evidence and the total picture of what took place. All I am left with is the memory of being witness to some unspeakable horror, a loathsome injustice against an innocent and all I can do is remember her in some crappy attempt at poetry. She deserved more than this.

50 thoughts on “MIDWEEK POETRY. Nothing.

  1. thisisnotbangkok

    I really liked the rhythm of this poem. It is definitely mature, professional writing. I also love the fact that the poem doesn’t explain everything–sort of like my photos, we can interpret the poem as we wish. Yes, I get the gist of it and the subject matter, but there is a lot to infer. I love that.

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    1. laurie27wsmith Post author

      Why thank you, I’m honoured. *then I go and post a chicken poem* I like to vary my work and with the subject matter it’s best left with that element of mystery where the reader has to read between the lines. It’s all in the interpretation as you say. Thanks so much for taking the time to comment on my work. I’m waiting for your next photo.
      Cheers
      Laurie.

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      1. thisisnotbangkok

        You are welcome. I will always be back to read your post. I think you once said that it isn’t easy to follow all of your followers, but you are at the top of my list.

        Yes, the element of mystery (and/or) in my case manipulation. Love it.

        I will be posting a photo within the next hour or so.

        The inside scoop on this next post is that it was taken on a schoolyard through a fence. I was on the outside of the fence and centered on the focal point of the subject matter by blurring everything else out. Before editing, it was just a bland photo of a school yard. But the “tiger” caught my attention as I was driving by, so I stopped to take the picture.

        Take care–I am sure we will chat again soon.

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      2. laurie27wsmith Post author

        I’ve been and looked at your tiger and left a comment. Yes the photos by themselves can be good it’s when we play with them a little that they take on a different ‘something.’ In effect the actual photo is nothing more than a canvas waiting to be finished.
        Talk soon.
        Laurie.

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      3. thisisnotbangkok

        Fantastic analysis and so true. It’s all what we do with the photo in order to transform it into something else.

        Thanks for the like and the comment on the tiger pic :-

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      4. laurie27wsmith Post author

        You are welcome Michael. I know a lady who does ‘natural photography’ as a paying hobby and only crops her pictures, nothing else. Even wedding and family photos. A little tweaking would make some of her good pics excellent pics, especially the portraits. I’ve tried to explain that even the greatest photographers over time manipulated their work to make it better.
        Laurie.

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      5. laurie27wsmith Post author

        Especially if people are paying for a family shot and all the foreheads are bright white. I told her it wasn’t cheating to balance them up a little. Everyone to their own.

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  2. patgarcia

    My Dear Brother,
    These are words from your heart and I felt everyone of them. Thank you for this very emphatic sense of being able to feel what the children feel who have been abused. To say that I like this one is an understatement. It is a poem for the heart and in my opinion, one that you consider sending off to major magazines to be published.
    Simply excellent.
    Ciao,
    Patti

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    1. laurie27wsmith Post author

      Why Sis thank you so much. It hurt to write it and as I have said in other comments I nearly didn’t publish it at all. I guess somebody has to let the world know about their pain.
      Bro.

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  3. Jane Dougherty

    As I think you said earlier in the thread, Laurie, it’s the big emotions that elicit the biggest emotional response. When you’re hit hard, you’re hit deep, and it shows. Congratulations on turning something posionous into a beautiful piece of writing.

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  4. Owls and Orchids

    Laurie, you have captured the essence of the ‘warrior’ unable to protect and the guilt which pervades everything as a result. I can relate to the anguish which never diminishes because we always feel ‘we’ should have been able to do more – to stop this atrocity and punish the guilty. You hit a raw nerve my friend. Susan ❤

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    1. laurie27wsmith Post author

      Thanks Susan, it is a common thread in these cases. The guilt suffered by many children, especially those whose parents/parent are alcoholics, they take the burden that the parent can’t. When it comes to horror that even adults can’t face, the child takes it on board too. The whole thing is irrational and we carry the burden well into our later years. Ahh, life.
      Laurie.x

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  5. Wordifull Melanie

    So moving Laurie. Beautifully tragic. I find myself with tears in my eyes. The is much in my childhood that I still tote around blame for (just or not). I hope that is writing and publishing/sharing this you can now release some of the pain and guilt.

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    1. laurie27wsmith Post author

      Thank you Melanie, it has touched quite a few people. You know people say we should live in the present moment, well it is easy to say. We have deep rooted memories that quite often assail us at the oddest times. Because they happened when we were children our reaction to them now is that of a child, still helpless over what happened. As adults we can talk our way around a happening and look at the guilt aspect and apportion blame. Children can’t do that effectively, they either shift the consequences of their actions straight onto someone else (Billy did it) or they take it all on board themselves. The guilt still lies there like a lump of hardened clay in the bottom of a hastily dug grave. What I wanted to do was let the world know that I hadn’t forgotten her. Nobody else cared, I do and now everyone who has read my poem knows of a lost little orphaned girl. An innocent who died because somebody couldn’t control their lusts. I’m still bitter about it.
      I might post a chicken poem next week.
      Laurie.

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  6. Pingback: Bianca’s Weekly Wonder List 2.08.13 | B.G. Bowers

  7. Keavaa

    I don’t know if this will make sense, but your poem made my soul weep. The tears will come later, at the moment though my soul is crying out in agony. Thankyou very much Laurie.

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    1. laurie27wsmith Post author

      Thank you Keavaa, I agonised over writing this poem because it was so personal for me. It speaks of those who are taken, never to be seen again, secrets, loss, murder and pain, that of the dead and the living. As a writer I strive to make my prose as authentic as I can. With ‘Nothing’ it already lived inside me, the words were there, the feelings and the hurt. It only needed the right time to blend them together.
      Thank you for reading it.
      Laurie.

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  8. Patrons of the Pit

    Sorry it sucked, what ever it was. But that aside, dang man, this was some very fine writing. Your literary craft is keen. And your words pierce the soul with aplomb. Something all the best writing seems to do. Well done, sir. Well done indeed.

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    1. laurie27wsmith Post author

      It did suck, murder always does. Thank you so much for your beautiful words about my work, my words pierce the soul because in this case they came from somewhere near there. You blokes don’t do too badly yourself with your word smithing and therefore I take it as a compliment from the heart.
      Thank You,
      Laurie.

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      1. laurie27wsmith Post author

        Thanks, Bianca is it? I meant to put it up before the chicken poems but it wasn’t ‘ready’ I actually deleted it and then resurrected it for posting. A lot of subconscious sub text happening I think. XX

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      2. bgbowers

        Hi Laurie, yes, the name is Bianca.:) Your ambivalence to post is understandable, given your strong emotions & residual guilt, but I’m really glad you did. I’m sure that many people regret past choices & actions, but it’s important for us to accept that We did the best we could at the time, learn from it, and forgive ourselves.

        I have started a weekly shout-out blog where I feature other bloggers & works that have impacted me. I would very like to feature your blog & this poem – would you mind?

        Bianca xox

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      3. laurie27wsmith Post author

        Hi Bianca, thanks for that I would love it if you reblog my post, thank you, I’m honoured. It’s sometimes hard to forgive oneself, especially when you were only nine at the time. Guilt for children is a terrible burden.
        Laurie xx

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  9. Peggi Salva Tustan

    It makes sense to me now, how powerful and deep and emotional your poetry is. This event has shaped you, Laurie. It has given you a voice as a poet. I am grateful that you have chosen to allow such beauty to come from something so horrendous. Your work honors the poor soul that was lost. This is NOT “nothing!”

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    1. laurie27wsmith Post author

      Peggi, thank you I am deeply touched by your comment. If I had it to do over I would have preferred something far easier and less painful. Then again I probably wouldn’t have the emotional element there. Thank you again.
      Laurie.

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  10. Raani York

    These words – this poem… together with the pictures… I think I mentioned it before: it’s like you’re painting a picture with words. You’re such a talent, Laurie!!

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  11. Tami McVey

    This was incredible, Laurie, and by no means was it “Nothing”. Your words were very heartfelt and touching.
    Congrats as well on the milestones reached!! xo

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  12. Marta Merajver-Kurlat

    “This” is more than you realize. To put such unspeakable horror in words and make us reflect not only on the horrors each of us has witnessed but also on our having done nothing to stop them is important. Most people just pretend it doesn’t concern them.

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