ROOMEO & JOOLIETTE
A PLAY in 1 quick Act.
by Will Pademelon
A story of two families at war and forbidden love in the wilds of the Australian Outback.
18+ Parental guidance recommended.
Gerard DepaRoo, fresh from his No 1 Broadway hit,
Who’s afraid of Virginia Wallaby?
Marilyn Munroo, a newcomer to the stage but a star in her own right, straight from the centre pages of MACROPOD MONTHLY. Read her interview in the Wild Wallaby Women section. “Come on you Macropods, I just love a Roo with big feet. You know what they say……”
History doesn’t tell us the why of this family feud, only that it seemed to be over property boundaries. Fighting ensued and the legend grew of how the patriarch of the lower paddock wallabies, survived an electric fence to the testicles.
Generations passed, yet the animosity grew along with the legendary prowess of the male descendants of that unfortunate patriarch. Roomeo, the latest in line lived a privileged existence under the care and guidance of his two nurses. They allowed Jooliette of the swamp mob, more commonly known as, a pack of mongrel dirty fighters, to play with Roomeo.
Growing up they took advantage of every moment to meet at the old gum tree in secret. There they pledged their undying love for each other.
Every week Jooliette waited by the tree hoping Roomeo would chance by. She would sit forlornly until sunset, calling out,
“Roomeo, Roomeo, where the bloody hell are ya, Roomeo?”
When an answer wasn’t forthcoming she would make her way down the paddock.
One day, unable to wait any longer she began addressing her own issues when Roomeo turned up,
“G’day Jools, whatcha doin? ”
“Oh, Roomeo, you startled me. I, I was – dammit you know what I want. What’s a girl gotta do to get some action round here?”
“Well Jools it’s like this, you’ve heard the legend. You know what happens to the males in my line.”
“I know but by the look of that I wouldn’t call it legendary.”
“Oh, Roomeo, yes, yes. A little to the left, that’s it.”
“I love you Jools, you’re different to the other girls.”
“Oh, well you know the story about the legend, it gets around.”
“Wh, wh, what Jools?”
“You’re using protection, right?”
“Yeah, I sprayed on the tick repellent, I’m fine.”
“Hmmmm, Roomeo, that is divine. Ooooh, the legend lives.”
“Uh, uh, uh.”
“You do love me, right?”
“Uh, uh, uh.”
“And you’re using protection?”
“Uh, uh, uh.”
“Hang on, is that my Dad hopping up to the fence?”
“Uh, uh, eek.”
Roomeo bounds off in the opposite direction, leaving Jooliette to feel her dad’s wrath.
“Crikey, Jooliette I thought you were better than this. Here ya are letting one of them, lower paddock mongrels have his way with ya.”
“Oh Dad, I’m sorry. He was so nice and I’ve known him forever, and……”
“Well that’s the last you’ll see of him girl.”
Loud grunts and crackles float up the paddock from the electric fence.
Time drags on, Jooliette’s Dad passes away and the swamp mob banish her. She gives birth and the lower paddock mob ignore them both. She spends the rest of her days living in the overgrown garden, bringing up Roomeo’s son. The legend lives on.
These characters bear absolutely no resemblance to any creations of The Bard.