I was invited a few months ago to be part of the Ipswich City Library’s Paper Tales program, where authors come along and talk about their work. So on Tuesday morning this week I attended and had the pleasure of talking to over twenty people for an hour and a half. Being Senior’s Week there were seniors and younger people in the audience. Most people aren’t forthcoming with questions and then someone asked about prison and prisoners. I was able to talk at length on these subjects making many references back to my books and how working in prison and the police gave me a good grounding in writing about crime and criminals. I sold some books and I think scarred a couple of older ladies in the process. I’ve always believed that if you don’t want to know the truth don’t ask for it. No, I wasn’t horrible just down to earth. Of course not a lot goes on at The Writer’s Room without the local Roos finding out about it, and this monumental event leaked out to none other than Wal Wallaby, rooving reporter, oh and ladies’ man. Take it away Wal.
“G’day viewers, I’m Wal Wallaby rooving reporter and sports broadcaster. It’s a special day here at the Paddock, we’re going to town. Yes, I’ll be joined by Marilyn Munroo, our undercover reporter, and Gerard DepaRoo, investigative journalist and actor. They will join me at the Ipswich Library where we’ll finally get to see the man who makes our lives miserable. Yes, the human who’s forever snooping around the paddock and detailing our everyday lives. Now it’s our turn. First off I’d like to thank our sponsors, Roo Poo for their valued support in our endeavours today. Also DepaRoo for taking the time away from his new action movie, also produced by our sponsor: Shite Storm 2014. A story of one Roo’s battle against crime, corruption and a lack of fertiliser. If DepaRoo is in a movie, it’s bound to be Shite. Sorry, what? Oh, right I’m not supposed to say that. Sorry viewers, that was my producer Ed Wombat, he’s a stickler for language. Hmm, thought he was asleep. Back to it. We’ve chartered a bus and will get a flash mob going. DepaRoo will be looking into our human’s background while Marilyn interviews him.
Marilyn Munroo poses outside and comments.
“Good Morning viewers, it’s Marilyn Munroo and I’m here at the Ipswich Library. I can see the man now, he’s talking to a group of other humans sitting in front of him. Hmm, he’s telling them a story of how a dog ate his hearing aid. I’d love to interview that dog, wait there’s a lull in the conversation, I’m going in.”
“Excuse me, Laurie isn’t it? Do you have time for a few words?” Oh, he’s looking at me, hmm, those green eyes are…..
“Oh, hello Marilyn great to see you, I certainly do. I think I’ve warmed the audience up. Come over here, sit down and please, ask anything you want.”
“Okay firstly, why do you spend so much time photographing kangaroos and wallabies?”
“Quite simple Marilyn, many of them are like you, beautiful. I send their pictures all over the world and humans everywhere are fascinated.”
“Yes and the others, so I believe that the more pictures I put out there the more fans you will have.”
“Oh,” *fans her face with her notebook* “I see. Right, can you tell my viewers what’s happening here today?”
“Certainly, I’m promoting my books in the Death Series and launching the third book, River of Death.”
“Is that like a warning to keep out of the water or something?”
“Not really, it’s a story about a man who likes to kill people. Women actually, a certain type of woman and…”
“My goodness, surely not?”
“Sadly these things happen but it’s not all about that. It’s also about the people who hunt him down and their lives: love, courage, strength, loss and many other human emotions.”
“But why do people kill each other? I know there are people who come looking for us.”
“I can’t tell you why people do these things to each other, it’s been happening for so long now it’s almost normal. You do know that you’re safe when you’re up on the lawn at the Writer’s Room don’t you?”
“Yes, I guess so. Although Gerard says we shouldn’t trust humans. So, do the other books have the same things in them?”
“To varying degrees, you’ll like Mountain of Death, the hero is something of a bad boy, strong, a little mean and hard.”
Marilyn’s tail swishes back and forth.
“Really, it’s a popular story about crime and corruption, people have become engrossed in it.”
“I see another book over there, Valley of Death, what’s that about?”
“This is a difficult subject Marilyn, it’s about people who hurt the young and…”
“Oh no, not like the joeys?”
“I’m afraid so, there are people who make money out of and take great pleasure in hurting those who can’t fight back.”
“This is terrible Laurie, I must warn the others when I get back.” She looks over to the door, the flash mob have arrived. “Well here are a few more roos to listen to your talk. Thank you for your time Laurie and I look forward to reading your books.”
“You’re welcome Marilyn.”
Outside the Library, away from the mob, Wal interviews Gerard DepaRoo.
“G’day Gerard, what can you tell our viewers about this author, L.W. Smith? Did you check out his background, and what do you think about his claims to have worked in law enforcement?”
Gerard turns his right profile to the camera and runs a paw across his moustache.
“I have to say I’m truly disappointed Wal. I’ve spoken with other humans and found that he has indeed spent time amongst the criminal element, both in their jails and on the beat. There seems to be some validity to his past.”
“So, are you withdrawing your claims that he’s nothing but a hack writer?”
“I’m not sure yet, I’ll have to read his work. As you know I’m a descendant of the great bard, Will Roospeare, on my mother’s side. We take our literature seriously.”
“He’s never claimed to write literature Gerard. It’s all about action, drama, violence, sex and…”
“Sex you say?” Rubs moustache furiously. “Merde, I could teach him so much. You know that I am a great….”
“Back to your investigation Gerard.”
“Sorry. I have researched his blog and found many stories about his time in these places. Some made me laugh and others, well I cried just a little bit. Oh and he even writes poems, a strange man indeed.”
“So what do you have to say about him now?”
“I trust him a little bit and when he takes my picture again he should try for a close-up.”
“That’s all from the Ipswich Library viewers, here are a couple of photos. I don’t know how those other roos found their way inside.”
For the eagle-eyed editors amongst you, to should be too in the right hand speech bubble. Give the roos a break, they can’t spell. The library staff did a great job on their banner for the day. Pity about the hairline Laurie, although it’s great for reflecting the flash. 🙂
I know it isn’t the usual style for Fridays but hey, a bloke has to promote himself now and then. Everything will be back to normal next week, so here are a couple of pics from when it rained last week. The poinsettias look happy about it.
I’ll see you all next week.