Dreams cont’d: I needed to cover one more aspect of dreams and that is, if you can dream about things happening why can’t you predict or dream about the winning lottery numbers? Well I did. I gave a set of numbers to an elderly client for the Tattslotto and she misplaced them. They came up. In 1982 I dreamt about holding a lotto coupon and it had six numbers marked off in golden light. I flew out of bed and wrote them down and have used them ever since. In 1987 when I left the police, we moved house out to the country on a Friday. The lotto was on Saturday night and it closed on the Friday. At about 4 pm I realised I hadn’t put the lotto on, oh and we needed a loaf of bread. That’s fine but I’d used the last of our cash to pay the removalist and I could only scrounge up $1.82 and the bank was shut. The choice was lotto or bread, the bread won. On Saturday night five of my numbers came up and the supplementary. We would have won about $27,000. So don’t believe it when people say psychics don’t win lotto they do, it’s just that their stomachs get in the way sometimes.
My own personal view on Karma: Karma for those of the Christian faith equates to, for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For eastern religions and with its origins in ancient India, it is a key concept in Hinduism, Buddhism, Jainism, Sikhism, Taoism, Shintoism, Ching Hai and others. There the belief is about the principle of causality, where it’s basically the same as what you give out, you get back. It’s a word we see used quite often these days, there are boundless memes on Facebook giving uplifting verses on life and karma. When seemingly bad things happen to people, we see many messages comforting the victim, ‘Don’t worry (insert name here) karma will get them.’ Or, ‘Yes it’s their karma and they deserve it.’ Then there’s, ‘Why do all these arseholes get the good (insert riches of choice here) and we, you, me get the crap?’ have you ever stopped to think that it might just be your karma coming back? Is some unseen force at work in the universe enfolding us, watching us and keeping a daily tally of our misdeeds, or more importantly our good deeds? Many will say it’s (insert god of choice here) way of ensuring we do the right thing, love each other, praise him/her ensuring that at the end of our time we are worthy of entering a better place.
I believe in the soul and if you’ve been following this series you will know that I have worked in great detail with mine, and other people’s lives. Not telling them what to do but showing them what has happened in regards to the choices they’ve made. I think the soul keeps the tally and brings us into situations where we can work out our karmic debt, on both sides of the ledger. You can say, ‘Laurie, you’re full of it, it’s all down to good or bad luck.’ Here we have a process that still seems to depend on the goodwill of the universe to bestow health, happiness riches, good looks, etc on us. Webster’s dictionary: Luck, is “a purposeless, unpredictable and uncontrollable force that shapes events favourably or unfavourably for an individual, group or cause”. Yet the author Max Gunther defines it as “events that influence one’s life and are seemingly beyond one’s control.” Is life just one huge hodgepodge of events that happen to fall into, or out-of-place at every turn of some unseen roulette wheel? Or, are we nothing more than millions of random events that came together at some indeterminate time in the past. Yet still caught up in a fine gossamer of interconnecting strings, pulling us together, then apart, entangling our lives in a never-ending web of wonder and fear. I don’t know, all I can do is relate my experiences and thoughts on the matter.
I also believe in past lives, once again this is something that gets many folk in a dither and that’s fine. It’s whatever floats your boat and mine sails quite happily on this one. Why? Because it makes sense to me. If we look at life as nothing more than random events from when we’re born until we die, then there really isn’t a need to be kind, caring or considerate. If this is all there is, then ‘Fuck You’ has to be the saying to live by, because nothing would matter. No amount of good or bad deeds would add or detract from who you are. They might make life better but for what? One bite of the cherry, one go on the Ferris wheel? What if you slip into the world, take a breath and die, or don’t breath at all? Is that it? ‘Sorry old son you’ve had your chance, you’ve missed out, bugger off.’ Then we have the religious belief that we have to be good, so that when we die to go to a heaven. What’s the trade-off there? You’ve lived an immaculate life lacking in adventure, risks and the many other treats it has to offer, then that’s it? What next? Is this a reward? What about all the experiences to be had, where do they come in? This brings us to the idea of past lives, because from what I’ve seen none of us are perfect. Plus there are so many things to do on this planet, that on average, a 70 year life span isn’t going to fit it all in. From leaving school to retiring most of us are trapped on the hamster wheel making a living, instead of living. That’s if you’re lucky. We have people dying from birth right through to the 100’s, so what does a day old baby learn, or a 6-year-old or for that matter a 30-year-old? Let’s see what William Shakespeare has to say on this:
All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players.
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
What if you’re the one not playing many parts, you walk on stage and arrgghhh, you cark it? Wouldn’t it be better to come on back and finish your scene, get it out of the way and move onto the next play?
I believe there are different kinds of karma, I’ll mention: instant, from earlier in life and past life. We all know the instant one, you’re busy gobbing off at somebody about what they’re doing, turn around and walk into a post… Simple. When we are going about our daily lives and all is good we tend to think that it’s going to stay like that. ‘Hey, we’re good folk, we do the right thing. Crikey, I even give to charity.’ Then seemingly from out of nowhere disaster strikes, pick one, it doesn’t matter what. If it’s a meteorite crashing into our house then, ‘Hey, it’s an act of god, I’ve been bad.’ If someone has turned on us and hurt us, then, ‘What have I done wrong? Boy, karma’s going to get them.’ Or we’re stricken with an illness, ‘Why is this happening to me, I’ve been good. Why isn’t that bastard who hurt me getting this?’ Is it bad luck, or have you disobeyed some creed or commandment, or have you done wrong to someone else earlier in your life? Let’s have a look at a couple of personal examples here. I try not to censor what I write, and to get the effect of how karma works I’ll write my truth here. I think those who have been following me over the past couple of years know that I’ve been sexually abused as a child. Don’t feel that you have to show sympathy or concern here, it’s done and long gone. What it did was to create an angry, callous, uncaring child. When you are being hurt and are unable to fight back you tend to turn on those weaker than you. Remember these following events happened between 5 and 8 years of age.
I played with some children who lived around the corner from us, there were fourteen of them and I played in my age group, 5. I remember standing in the kitchen and the youngest, a 2-year-old came in and stood by the stove. I lifted a saucepan of water off the stove and poured it over her head. It had gone off the boil. Why? Damned if I know but it took away the pain in me. Go forward 12 years and I’m at recruit training getting a mug of coffee out of the urn at breakfast. I drop my cutlery and bend down to pick it up. I stand up and get a mug of boiling water poured over the top of my head. Karma or bad luck? I set fire to a man’s garden shed and became trapped in it, escaping with seconds to spare. Instant karma. I had my arse kicked all the way home by the local copper, then my old man beat me. No real surprise there. At 7 years old I tried to do to a girl what was being done to me. She clawed my face that badly it took about 10 years for the scar to go away. Instant karma. I pushed a girl into a pond at school and she nearly drowned. I drowned 22 years later. I joined in with a pack of other kids at school when I was 12 and taunted a poor girl having a severe asthma attack. I was being bashed at school every day by 6 boys at this stage and it felt good to be able to lash out at someone else. I now have asthma and emphysema. Karma or just bad luck? For those who have read my previous series’ about my time in the army, prisons and police you will be aware of the litany of accidents and bad luck, or was it?
If you’ve read this far I take it that you either believe in the concept of past lives or at least are curious enough to be here. At the height of my time as a medium I became interested in past life regression and sought the means to do it. I decided on guided meditation which takes you to a place of nothingness before birth, then you go from there. I’ve heard all the arguments about it being wishful thinking and self aggrandisement. There are those who want to be Napoleon or Cleopatra. What I experienced every time I did it was to me, more real than this reality. Prior to going to bed one evening I embarked on another ‘adventure.’ I’ll tell it as a story.
The world looked just as desolate from behind prison bars as it did from the small window of my cottage, although the cottage felt warmer and I had the company of my wife and boys. Now? My future will be cut short tomorrow on the gallows, tried and convicted for murder. No long sea journey for me to Van Diemen’s land, thank God. My only journey will be from this rat hole to the gallows in the yard. Do I deserve it? Yes and no. If a man can’t feed his family and keep them alive when thousands die, then what good is he? I’ve worked all the hours I can to grow the oats and barley and what’s left over after I’ve paid my rent is just enough. They didn’t have to send the redcoats to take what little we had left, taxes they said, food for the starving in England. What about the starving here in Ireland? Drunk they were and not a good manner between them. They took our grain then came back at night, drunk on cheap ale to show my wife what a real man could do. I showed them. Young they were, the short one had never shaved and his mate had long, sparse whiskers. They’d only seen garrison duty and never stood against an angry man. I skewered the young one with a hay-fork, the tines entering his throat. His face grew whiter as his life blood spewed out. The whiskered one fired his Brown Bess musket, the ball lodged in the wall above the fireplace. Taking it from his grasp I reversed it and drove the brass plated butt into his face. He fell to the floor and I only stopped hitting him with it when his head was no more. It’s morning now and they don’t waste any time. At least they’ve found a priest for me so I can find forgiveness but they won’t let me hold my wife and sons. Defeated, horror-stricken at what is about to come I reach out and try to grasp their hands through the flat-iron straps that make up my cage. Their features fade and all I can see is the tiny hands of my boys. The view from the gallows is less appealing. The mist still floats over the far meadows and I pray that I do not piss myself. The smell of fresh hemp comes to my nostrils before a rough cloth hood is dragged over my head. The hangman is quick and efficient. The knot sits under my left ear and the noose is slack enough to pull tight when I go through the trapdoor. Fresh air beneath my feet and crack, a flash of light explodes in my head, then… the mist closes in.
So where’s the karma in this life? I’ve had some events occur to my neck over time that have been at the most, uncomfortable. I kept them under control with regular visits to a chiropractor. The following morning my head had an obvious tilt to the left and the C2 vertebrae was decidedly uncomfortable. It took days until I could move my head back into position and even then the pain didn’t go away. It’s given me some severe trouble ever since. Coincidence? Wishful thinking? I don’t know. I was shown who the two soldiers were in this life, one was my father.
Next week: More on past lives.