I’ve been on a journey, not an overly long one but a journey nonetheless. It hasn’t been to some tropical paradise, or snow-capped resort. Sadly it’s been a little close to home, into my mind. I would have preferred the crisp, cold snow and rarefied air, instead I ended up with a journey I thought I’d crossed off my list of places to go. After posting in mid December I felt buoyant and full of enthusiasm, ready to get to grips with a new year of blogging and catching up with online friends. So much for enthusiasm. I don’t have to explain the effects of depression and sadness here, they’re insidious and soul destroying, like maggots feasting on your happiness. Christmas came and went and I put my happy mask on so as not to pull those around me down into my funk. As every day passed it became easier to ignore the emails that would link me to my wonderful friends from across the globe, the people who have followed my journey, reading and sharing my stories. Enjoying my photos and encouraging me to become a better photographer. I’ve also enjoyed their input, the good, the sad and the downright funny. I’ve let people fall away from me because it became too difficult to communicate. I’ve made brief appearances on Facebook and liked a few things, that’s easy, click-click and away you go. A few people, and you know who you are sent emails and for that I thank you. What am I doing about my life? Not a lot at the moment, doing something takes commitment and that’s sadly lacking. Why am I still here? Because I have a wife who won’t give up on me, even when I rebel against her love and kindness. Therapy and drugs? Been there, done that. So it’s a matter of conjuring up the courage to face each day and see that life is inherently good. You have no doubt seen the circus act where the clown keeps all of those plates spinning, well I don’t think he knows what he’s doing, they’re all broken. I couldn’t post without a picture of my favourite animal. I took this on our trip in October. I tend to think he looks like I feel, confused, perplexed and a little lost. I won’t make any promises of being back next week, or posting something from the writer’s room on Friday. I’ll just say that I’m still here and thanks for understanding.